the anti vaccination movement basically consists of random people with no knowledge of medicine going “I can medicine better than doctors” and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t literally killing people

you dont need vaccines, I havent had any and Im still doing great

wow, what a compelling argument. you’ve got me

in other news, i am still alive therefore death must be a myth


So I had a colonoscopy today, and had a lovely back-and-forth with one of the nurses

  • Nurse: Hi, I'm Myrtle the Magnificent.
  • Me: Wait, what? Like a magician or something?
  • Nurse: That's right!
  • Me: And for your first trick... You're gonna make the scope disappear, aren't you?
  • Nurse: Exactly! But do you know where it's gonna disappear to?!
  • Me: Is it my butt?
  • Nurse: It's your butt!
  • Me: I don't like this trick.
  • Nurse: No one likes this trick.